Double Dactyls

Spectator Competition No. 3026: double dactyl

You are invited to submit a topical double dactyl. 

Drinking Problem

Nobody-joebody

George Papadopoulos,

"Fetcher of coffee" the

Trumpists have said,

Incontrovertibly

Met with the Russians, so

Maybe Trump sent him for

Vodka instead.

Spectator Competition No. 3072: brief lives

You are invited to write a short biography of a famous figure, past or present, in verse of up to 16 lines.

St. Francis of a CV

Quirkily-workily

Jorge Bergolio,

On a career path with

Quite a steep slope,

Unostentatiously

Worked as a janitor,

Then as a bouncer, and

Then as the Pope.