Why You Shouldn't Read This Poem
You shouldn't read this poem because
It's just a waste of time,
A jumbled bit of gibberish
With here and there a rhyme,
Insipid, silly, insincere,
And so distressing to the ear
They shouldn't even print it here,
It ought to be a crime.
It's dangerous to read this poem;
It might just make you ill.
And once you're sick of poetry
There isn't any pill
To soothe your head or calm your fits.
Your skin falls off in little bits.
Why, in the worst of cases it's
Been even known to kill!
So stop your reading now, before
Your vision grows unsteady,
And toss the poem aside, or tear
The page into confetti.
Jump up and run outside to play,
Or tell a joke to Uncle Ray,
Or send a valentine to–Hey,
Stop reading it already!
first published in Cricket