Why You Shouldn't Read This Poem

You shouldn't read this poem because

It's just a waste of time,

A jumbled bit of gibberish

With here and there a rhyme,

Insipid, silly, insincere,

And so distressing to the ear

They shouldn't even print it here,

It ought to be a crime.

It's dangerous to read this poem;

It might just make you ill.

And once you're sick of poetry

There isn't any pill

To soothe your head or calm your fits.

Your skin falls off in little bits.

Why, in the worst of cases it's

Been even known to kill!

So stop your reading now, before

Your vision grows unsteady,

And toss the poem aside, or tear

The page into confetti.

Jump up and run outside to play,

Or tell a joke to Uncle Ray,

Or send a valentine to–Hey,

Stop reading it already!

first published in Cricket